You Decide the Kind of Dad You Want to Be

Carrying a wicker basket and clippers, Sarah went into her garden to gather red and white roses and blue delphiniums for a Fourth of July arrangement. She stopped with a startled “oh!” when she saw a five-foot black snake tangled in the mesh netting Dan had installed around the flower beds. The netting was meant to keep deer from eating her flowers, not trap a creature she considered one of the garden’s allies, helping control field mice. The snake had likely become caught during the night and was now badly tangled and nearing exhaustion, though it still writhed in a futile attempt to free itself. Sarah hurried off to find help.

She found her husband, Dan, in the work-shed repairing one of the lawn chairs. He rummaged through his tools for a set of heavy duty, curved blade scissors and called out for the boys who were shooting hoops in the driveway. 

“Come on, boys, we’ve got a rescue to perform.” Excited, Rick and Rob, immediately let the basketball drop; and followed their dad to the back yard. The twins, recently turned 11, were apt to follow Dan anywhere. After a year in their new home, they had become available for adoption and were excited to be a part of the large extended family that was gathering that afternoon for the holiday. 

“What’s all the commotion?” a bleary-eyed Scott stepped out onto the back deck. 

“We’re going to rescue a snake that is stuck!” Rob called out. 

Home from college for the summer, Scott laughed and settled into a padded lounge chair. 

“I’ll watch from here,” he said.

With two dark-haired boys peering over his shoulder, Dan began the delicate operation of snipping sections of netting without nicking the skin of the snake. 

“Is he going to be okay? Do you think he’ll make it? What if he bites you?” The boys questions were endless.

“These snakes don’t bite,” he assured them, though most of his attention stayed on the task, which proved more difficult than he had expected. The sleek creature moved constantly and without warning.

“I’m going to need your help boys. I’m going to put my hands around him to keep just one section still at a time and then I want you, Rob, to use two hands for me take away my left and you, Rick, to use two hands to replace my right.” 

The boys flashed wide-eyed looks at each other.

“You mean touch him?” said Rick in alarm.

“Well, he got into this mess all by himself, but he’s not going to be able to get out of it, unless I cut him free. And I need your help to make that happen.”

“What about Scott?” asked Rob. “Maybe he could hold him.”

“He probably could,” said Dan. “But why would I call Scott when I have two sets of strong hands in the two of you?”

Again, the boys exchanged glances, with less apprehension this time.

“I will, if you will,” said Rick.

“I will, if you will,” said Rob.

It took a half hour for that trio of father and two brand-new sons to make the final clip and free the snake from the netting. Sarah’s deer fence had been shredded in the process, but the boys high-fived as they watched the snake quickly slither away under the hydrangea bush.

Rick and Rob got to re-tell the story each time a different aunt and uncle arrived with a new set of cousins. They were pretty much the stars of that Fourth of July, and the story seemed to get better in the retelling. After running through the sprinkler, yard games, all-you-can-eat hot dogs and corn on the cob, deep shadows began to fall across the yard, and chairs were dragged out front to get ready for the fireworks display that Dan and the uncles would provide. 

Rob and Rick were seated on the porch steps when Scott wedged himself between them.

“Hey, guys, Dad gave me these tiny firecrackers to warm things up,” he said. “He told me you were old enough to set them off on the driveway if you promise to do as I tell you. You have to be real careful because the punk is hot. Just hold it to the fuse and then toss them quickly and high, away from your body, and watch them explode in the air.” 

He showed them how to do it a couple times and then let them try. The boys doubled over in delight and laughter with each mini explosion.

“Hey, Rob,” said Rick, “aren’t these the same kind of fireworks our first dad used to use when we were little?”

Scott immediately picked up on the reference to their earlier life, a time he still knew little about, but a time that had led to the boys being abandoned and ultimately in foster care.

“Yeah,” said Rob, “the toad explode!”

“The toad explode?” asked Scott.

“He used to light one of the fireworks and stuff it into a toad’s mouth. Then when he threw it in the air, the toad would explode!”

The boys giggled but Scott did not. The threesome grew suddenly quiet. Scott bent down to eye level with these two new little brothers and put his arms across their shoulders. 

“You remember this morning, boys, when Dad spent all that time cutting the fence to free that rat snake?”  The boys nodded.

“You’ve had two dads in your life, boys. When you grow up, you’ll have to decide what kind of dad you want to be. You can be the kind who works hard to save a snake, or the kind who kills toads for fun. That choice will be up to you.”