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Happy New Year

THIS LAST MORNING OF 2012

We’ve turned the solstice corner but morning is still reluctant to come and each day begins in darkness. In the season of Advent waiting  gradual graying matched the mood but, to be honest, it now grows old, this waiting for the light. This morning, however, I am rewarded with the thin, silver light of a moon floating between layers of clouds and glancing off jagged white Olympic peaks.That brief silver interlude encourages me that the sun, too, will pierce the clouds this coming day, at least on occasion.

From my back window I see rooftops stepped below me before the line of hills and mountain. In a lunar-inspired fantasy, I imagine I am a Santa looking down from my sleigh-high vantage point upon the world beneath. I drop packages of prayers down the smoking chimneys upon neighbors just rousing from sleep. Blessings on you and yours!  May you cherish the ones beneath your roof and be kept safe from all harm. May your venturing forth this day return you at day’s end to warmth and welcome at your own front door. May peace rest upon your home and gratitude fill your heart.

“Back at you!” I hear like a “Ho, ho, ho!” In a twinkle as quick as Santa’s wink, my prayer ricochets off the rooftops and lands back on my pajama lap.  Ah, yes, I smile. My rooftop, too, is looked down upon and blessed. I cannot outdo you, my God, in generosity. Thank you.

It has been many years since that school bus ride, and I am still pondering the nature of hope with much more to be learned. But even then, at that age and in that moment, I knew that hope was deep and strong and true. Somehow, I also knew that it would make demands of me.The difference was that hope didn’t just happen as we expected from a wish. Hope was participatory. It might call for courage, it might test me, even seem unreasonable at times. But a conviction was emerging within me that said it would be worth whatever the investment. Those thoughts were not fully formed in that long-ago moment, but they were nascent, tangible, and as available to me in memory now as is the memory of last night’s dinner.

Today, this last day of 2012, I ask a double portion of gratitude. Remind me of all I have to be grateful for in this year that is about to end.  Each day began as this one did, though often I slept through the blitzkrieg of blessings. Each day I have been watched over in ways I do not know and could not even begin to imagine.  

Before the midnight hour tonight, walk with me through this year that is waning. Stir my memory that I might re-live all that this year has contained. May every blessing be bundled and stowed in the bag marked “Memories.” I will draw from that bag many times in the year to come. May any unnecessary burden be left behind to lighten my load, my mind, and heart. Give me the grace to trust to your strong-fingered hands all that is yet unfinished. Please carry it lightly beside me and nudge me as needed to take up the task of creating the world anew. Holy work for a waiting year. Blessed be. Blessed be.