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Grandmother God

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It was my privilege this past Saturday to lead a Grandmother God retreat given at the Benedictine Abbey in Lacey, WA. No doubt the title caused some who heard of it to wrinkle their brow in confusion but there would be no confusion for those who’d had the world-altering experience of becoming a grandparent. They would know that their heart’s response to this child in their lives was so strong and surprising that it was, indeed, reflective of God’s love. If we who after many years of life experience and, presumably loving, can be so blind-sided by the depth of this new capacity for love within us, then what does that say to us of the love of God?

The invitation on this retreat was to reflect on what this new experience of love teaches us about God’s love for us.  Are we as beloved in God’s sight?  Is God’s embrace of us as ready and warm and strong? Might God delight in us?  Delight, even in our shortcomings?

Grandmother God, You look into my face and smile.
Even when I cry out to You and say, “Feed me now!”
You laugh your soft laugh and smile even more and say,
“How well you cry!  I will feed you, Little One, never fear.”

Has not every prayer I’ve ever prayed been some form of that first cry?  I feel a need, a hurt, a hunger and I cry out. I cry out reflexively, immediately, loudly!  At times I whimper and whine and fuss for a while. Perhaps I root around for a thumb or a blanket or the adult equivalent and I think I can fill my own emptiness. My crying is not burdensome to you. You planted that reflex within me so that I will call out to You in my need. This is part of our first language so you delight in my lusty lungs.

“Never fear.”  Are any of my problems so big as to cause You to doubt? And as I progress into toddler or teen, will You despair of solutions?  To think that is to play the silly childhood game of I-ca-make-a-mess-so-big-that-I-can-make-you-mad. But You see my tantrum for what it is and, still, You laugh your soft laugh and smile because despite all the attention-getting and peek-a-boo, You have not forgotten which one of us is God.

Just a sample. This image of God loving us as a grandmother does is rich with possibilities. If we, then, can so love, how must God love. For, indeed, we cannot out-love God.