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Discouraging Day

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Today discouragement came to visit...it turned out to be a pretty good day.

The invitation was the smallest of things, just a breakdown in communication—but a breakdown again, despite effort, despite successes. Sometimes old habits still win out over newly honed, best efforts.

Then, like a waft of breeze, came the awareness: I am discouraged.

I can do that, I thought. It’s not depression, it’s not despair, it’s not failure, it’s just discouragement. I am not paranoid, unreasonable, or over reacting. There’s ample cause to feel this way.

"Thank you,” I said, lifting a prayer heavenward. For, once I knew who had come to call, it was no stranger and had no magical power over me. Just come to visit for a spell.

I nodded in recognition, "Pull up a chair,” I said and leveled my gaze. "I think I will contemplate you.

"A long, loving look at what is real,”—that’s the definition of contemplation I’ve been using of late. I’m not so sure about the loving part. A lot of things that are very real are not particularly lovable, especially these days. But look, yes, I can do that. Long, yes--better for discouragement to stay right here where I can keep an eye it.

"I don’t want you visiting any of my kiddos,” I warned in my best grandmother voice. "You just stay right here with me.”

So, I looked Discouragement square in the eye for a moment. It stayed put and blinked back.  

I could pull out the elixir of encouragement. Powerful stuff and mighty good, encouragement. But if you use it all the time, it dissipates, is not honest. And sometimes, "should” tags along for the ride.

Back to contemplating "what is real” before me...how to summon a way to love this unwelcome guest.

Not sure I can love you,” I said. ‘You make me sad and tired and make me think it’s my fault.”

"But it is your fault,” said Discouragement.

"Some things are,” I agreed.” but some things are not—not all the time, not everything, not the long list of stuff you throw at me. Some things just are. Like you, you little bother.” 

"The truth is always a bother” smirked Discouragement

"Yes, the truth can be quite inconvenient,” I sighed. "But that just has to do with how she arrives. Sometimes she blind-sides you and you can feel gob smacked. Sometimes she creeps up on cat’s paws and becomes a companion before you realize it. But once Truth has arrived, life is always better.

"Half-truths on the other hand,” I added, "the kind you use… That means they are still, at best, half lies. Life is too short for any kind of lies.”
Discouragement squirmed a bit in the chair. "What, you don’t think I do any good at all?” it pouted.

"Hmm. Let me contemplate that,” I said.
"I get your attention. I cause you to stop. Hey, there are things that need attention. There are times you need to stop.

"Fair enough,” I agreed and contemplated a bit more.

Did you know,” I said, "that in England they call speed bumps ‘sleeping policemen’? 

"What are you saying?” Discouragement was looking a little uneasy. "Are you comparing me to a speed bump?” "If the shoes fits…” I hinted broadly. "Besides, that does acknowledge that you serve a purpose. Like you said, you slow me down and get my attention. You should feel good about that."

"In fact,” I added, "you caused me to pray.”
Discouragement grimaced. "That was not my intention.”
"Bet it happens though, doesn’t it? I mean, I bet people pray all the time when they are discouraged.”

That is NOT my intention,” said Discouragement all the louder. "I can’t have people praying. That’s when encouragement shows up—the real kind, not the hollow kind. And the two of us—we don’t get along. 

"Can I leave now?” Discouragement said with a whine.
"Not if you go visit my kiddos, you can't" I shot my most reproving grandmother glance.

Discouragement knew I meant it.

"I’m not going anywhere else today. I have a headache. I’m taking the day off."

"Good-bye,” I said. I hadn’t expected hanging out with discouragement to be quite so rewarding.

The above conversation with Discouragement first appeared in August 12, 2021 SCRIBBLES. Thank you, Robin, for pointing me in the direction of reposting some good ones! Hope you enjoyed it!

Registration is now OPEN for our ADVENT RETREAT

Once Upon a Time in a Town Called Nazareth

Fresh packaging this year for our annual Advent Retreat, ONCE UPON A TIME IN A TOWN CALLED NAZARETH. I will be offering a series of three 2-hour Zoom sessions on Wednesdays mornings in December. I am delighted to be partnering with RETREAT, REFLECT, RENEW, an on-line and in-person retreat ministry, that offers a variety of resources for spiritual growth and community faith-sharing.

SESSION ONE (Wed, Dec 4th, 9-11 am PST)

We set the scene. The place, Nazareth, the Galilean home of a young Jewish girl. The time, 2000 years ago, 12 hours, B.C., the night before the angel Gabriel is sent to Miriam. With story, song, and the Jewish prayers of Shabbat, we prepare our own imagination or the in-breaking of the divine into human existence.

SESSION TWO (Wed, Dec 11th, 9-11 am PST)

The Annunciation event comes alive as we experience images of the Annunciation created by artists through the centuries. Conversation and reflection follow as we consider how the encounter with an angel informs our own call to gestate and give birth to the holy. The invitation is ours in the week ahead to use at-home prompts giving our own expression to the annunciation using whatever modality is ours: art, poetry, movement, etc.

SESSION THREE (Wed, Dec 18th 9-11 am PST)

A time for theological reflection as we ponder the idea that God's choice to become human and Mary's yes change all things. We close our time together with the reflective, sensual prayer of Havdalah, the ending ritual of Shabbat. Enriched by our time together, we turn our hearts toward the season of Advent and the coming Christ-event of Christmas. Amen. May it be so.

Two options will be offered: The Wednesday morning live, online option and/or a recorded at-your-own-pace version. Sliding scale cost: you choose what works for you. Click here: RETREAT REFLECT RENEW

Exciting News...

Carmelite Priory at Boar's Hill, Oxford, England

has invited me to present a Zoom

Advent Series based on my book,

WHY THESE WOMEN

"Journeying with the Women in Jesus' Lineage"

Four Sundays of Advent

Dec 1 - Tamar, Gen. 38 / Dec 8 - Rahab, Josh.2 / Dec 15 - Ruth, Ruth 1-4 / Dec 22 - Bathsheba, 2 Sam. 11

8-9:30 pm Central European Time

7- 8:30 pm Greenwich Mean Time, UK

2-3:30 pm Eastern Time, US/Canada

1:2:30 pm Central Time, US/Canada

noon- 1:30 pm, US/Canada

11:00 am - 12:30 pm, Pacific Time, US/ Canada

(All sessions also recorded for later viewing)

Registration and more details will be available soon and will be sent out ASAP

Responses from Readers...

  • Loved the responses of your 5th grade students. Kids are amazing. - Betty
  • What a stroll down memory lane via the Baltimore Catechism. Like you, I memorized every line and loved the way it helped me make sense of things. I am grateful for that kind of head start in life. And even more grateful to have continued to grow beyond that. - Mary Jo
  • I spent some time thinking on my images of God, of how they've changed and grown over the years. I loved the tension you presented right of out Scripture of God as landowner and also homeless, as mother and as father, silent and loud. My image of God for this week comes from a conversation I had with a woman selling homemade sourdough bread at a fall festival. In her voice I heard God as baker. - Maureen

Speaking of our Images of God, here's an offering from Steve Garnaas-Holmes:

How easy it is to worship our image of God

instead of God.

The Trinity is not a doctrine, it’s a koan.

It’s a way of slippery=izing our images of God:

God is This, the Opposite of this, and None of the above.

God is More Than One Thing. And The One Thing.

God is beyond our knowing or pinning down;

yet known, revealed, embodied.

The Intimate Beyond, the Infinite Companion,

and the Immediate Arising.

God is mostly mystery, and all love.

Your understanding is fog.

Your certainty is noise.

Your belief is irrelevant.

All there is is love.

Let the Loving Mystery confuse you,

the Unknowable know you,

the Unspeakable do the speaking.

God,

the Lover, the Beloved and the Love Flowing,

holds you.

Let it be so.

Steve Garnaas-Holmes

Unfolding Light

www.unfoldinglight.net

As always, I love to hear from you; contact me at Contact Kathleen. If you are new to Sisters in Scripture, I would love for us to stay in touch. To receive regular emails, sign up here.

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