I once had a friend share with me that every night as the sun went down, her husband would stop, watch until the last light faded, and then sigh and say appreciatively, “I hate to say good-bye to this good day.” Perhaps not every day can be summarized so positively, but there is something about the merit of each one that this practice honors. No matter how intentionally we strive to live each day, we cannot hold on to every one. Some we let go of without regret, perhaps even with relief. But there are so many others that we want to press like flowers between the pages of our life. Even so, these, too, dissipate over time. And we sometimes only recognize in hindsight the extraordinary worth of an ordinary day.
How can we stand before the night weighing and sorting, seeking to save, eager to let go? How can we welcome tomorrow without surrendering today to someplace safer than our own recall?
What if God treasures our stories? What if God is willing to cherish and keep all that has been warp and woof and fabric of our life?
The Jesus I meet in the Gospels encourages me in that hope. He calls out to those who have felt inconsequential, beneath the radar of human recognition. Unknown to God is not an option in the world that Jesus creates. He once told his followers, “Are not two sparrows sold for a penny? Yet not one of them will fall to the ground outside your Father’s care. And even the very hairs of your head are all numbered. So don’t be afraid; you are worth more than many sparrows.” (Mt. 10:29-31)
The Jesus of the Gospels is a Jesus who notices. He notices the bent woman and calls her forth from obscurity giving back her dignity as a daughter of Abraham. He notices the widow of Naim in funeral procession and restores her dead son to her arms. When a woman is brought to him caught in adultery, this Son of Mary remembers that his mother, too, could have been stoned were it not for the just man, Joseph. He treats her with compassion and addresses her with respect.
Jesus somehow held it all within him, the stories of his people, the stories that resided within all those he encountered. He recognized their backstories as soon as he met them. Jesus sees the connections that knit us together, how each of us carries within us memories of the past, sometimes even beyond our awareness. None of this is forgotten or wasted in Jesus. He holds our stories even when we have forgotten them.
As we stand before each night, letting go of the day so quickly passed, we ponder its content: memories to be cherished and memories that are burden, lessons to speak into our future, meaning we may only come to understand in days yet to come.
Let us surrender all this to a place that is safe. That which would be harmful for us to keep and carry can be gathered up and carried by stronger Hands than ours. That which is precious and meant for us to treasure and learn from can be ready for our recall, carried by a Companion by our side.
Adapted from WHY THESE WOMEN, pp. 150-151.
For seven years, it was my privilege and pleasure to co-teach a course at Seattle University on Spiritual Retreats. One of my great takeaways from that time was the ongoing friendship with my teaching partner, Christine Hall. Our relationship and our teaching were both enriched by drawing from the wisdom and resources of our two traditions, Roman Catholic and Society of Friends (Quaker). Chris authors a newsletter, Way of the Spirit, for Good News Associates and in her most recent one, she offers a thought provoking and helpful piece on the difference between Forgiveness and Reconciliation.
Forgiveness is an imperative for Christians and Chris defines it in prosaic Quaker language as, "release into the Spirit of our hurts and woundedness." It is an essential motion that, says Chris, "can be quick and clear, like dropping one end of a tug-of-war.
As Chris suggests in her article, "separating the two [forgiveness and reconciliation] can help us drop some unhelpful baggage about the meaning and relevance of forgiveness. To read more, here is Chris' newsletter: Forgiveness is not the same thing as reconciliation
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