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What zu wan' be? 

"What zu wan’ be?” That’s the closest rendering I can give to the question of my What zu wan' be? What do YOU want to be?almost-three grandson one lazy summer afternoon. Turns out he was asking, “What do you want to be?”  “You mean like when I grow up?”  “Yes,” he brightened, “what zu wan’ be?” That memory comes back to me today and I marvel that the process of becoming does not seem to end, even at this point in my life.

My 25 + years as Pastoral Associate at St. Thomas More ended a couple weeks ago rather suddenly.  I was informed on what turned out to be my last day that my position had been eliminated in a cos saving move.

So I am free to ponder anew that perennial question, “What zu wan’ be?”

Walking out the door of a building I’d entered every day all those years, I was immediately aware that I was also walking through a door into something new. My first, most immediate hope was that the books, retreats, workshops, events, etc. that are posted on this site will be a large part of that something new for I will have much more time and energy to give to them. Even though, I must acknowledge that this is not totally mine to decide but is in the hands of a faithful God who has brought me this far for a reason, and whose reasons are often mysterious.

They are also wondrous. “For I know the plans I have for you says the Lord, plans for your welfare, not for woe, plans to give you a future full of hope.” This was the message sent me the following day by my daughter and son-in-law as a reminder of God’s purpose in my life. I am grateful to them and to many people who have sent me their support and prayers. The best expression I can give of my gratitude is to step out in faith in this becoming process.

I once went on a Sabbath to Temple de Hirsch Sinai and was touched by the beauty and richness of the experience. I ended up copying these words onto a small scrap of paper from my purse. I did not know then how right they would sound these several months later:

God disturbs us toward our destiny by hard events and by freedom’s now urgent voice which explodes and confirms who we are.

We don’t like leaving but God loves becoming